


how sam broke

by anya_ackles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Romance, Wincest - Freeform, post stanford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anya_ackles/pseuds/anya_ackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has been feeling on edge lately. Having these feelings for dean is new..or may be not so new.<br/>This is how he cracks under the tension..and cracks dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic! Been reading spn fanfics a lot lately. Decided its time to see what i got.  
> angst and some action ahead! ;) do leave comments and kudos. Thanks!

 

Sam has been on edge lately.

It was not new when he's on a hunt or a hunt where the death toll just doesn't seem to stop. But it _is_ different.

They are on their way to the cheap motel they are currently staying in. Sam rests his head against the window and watches the trees pass by, wind blowing on his face. He can hear dean tapping his finger on the wheel. It keeps his heart at a steady rhythm.

 

He falls asleep that way.

When he wakes up he finds dean out at the back clearing the trunk. He slowly makes himself stand, takes his supply bag and follows dean to their room. It is hard to focus as dean keeps brushing his hand against his or grabbing him by the back of his neck as a show of pride that they survived another hunt.

Dean is so cheerful after a hunt, it scares him sometimes. Are they so fucked up or just dean is? He knows the latter is not true. He hears his brother call first shower as soon as he gets in and drops his duffel on the nearest bed. Sam simply watches him strip his jacket and muddy boots and vanish behind the bathroom door.  
He sighs.  
He decides to take his time stripping out of his dirty clothes himself. '"Dean's gonna be a while" he thinks. Knowing his brother all his life, he has become quite the psychic. He chuckles at the thought.  
As he kicks his boots off and his brown jacket, he hears the bathroom door open. He watches just in time to see his mostly naked brother wrapped in a small towel walk towards him with an expression he can't read.  
He backs away slightly as dean closes in on him. Sam can feel dean's body heat. So close. Too close. Sam can feel his chest heaving. He wonders if dean can hear his heart hammering through his chest. Maybe he can shove dean back and joke about personal space to get some air into his lungs before he collapse.  
"Are you trying to start a fight like we were kids again? " dean asks tilting his head to look at Sam with meaning, eyebrows arched. Sam could only slow his breathing in order to process what he's brother just said.  
"Huh...yeah, o yeah, no i wouldn't. Why would i?" he really wouldn't. But dean only narrows his eyes. "I really wont dean" Sam says in his best fake annoyed tone.  
"Then explain to me something Sammy." Sam tries hard to focus. "why are you blocking my way to my bed?" Sam blinks. He looks at dean's bed sideways and then at dean. And then his lips, set in a pout. Suddenly that's all he can see. Those lips. Just inches from his face. Before he knows he was leaning in, eyes droopy as if drunk.  
"Watch yourself Sammy" and he snaps back to the moment. "if i didn't know better I'd say you like me in a towel better" dean's lips curves into a smirk and Sam 's eyes snap back to meet his brother's eyes again. Red with embarrassment he moves around to go to the bathroom, slamming the door in his hurry to get away.  
Dean's eyes are fixed on the bathroom door from his bed where he's lying, hand behind his head when Sam comes out after a suspiciously long shower. 'hey, i got dried mud to wash up' he thought in his defense but he cant lie to himself. He sighed.  
Ignoring his older brother, he went straight for his bag to dig out clean boxers and a shirt.  
Dean cleared his throat to speak "Sam, is everything okay?" Sam straightened. Dean could see the muscles in his shoulder tense. He quickly added "You aren't hurt are you?"  
Yes. He's hurt like a puppy when left in the rain to freeze to death and then kicked in the gut...multiple times. He can't breathe when he looks at his brother. He can't jerk off without letting his thoughts get consumed by dean, dean and only dean, his naked flesh, his lips and his love for Sam. Brotherly love, sure. But it does things to Sam he can't even admit to himself when he's alone. He's sick. Can he blame Stanford for his condition?  
"No" he decides to say out loud. And stops his trail of thought. He gets dressed. Part of him imagines dean still staring at him, eyes full of lust, half hard just from watching his younger brother in boxers only. He turns around while getting his head into his t-shirt to see dean fast asleep in the same position.  
Without a word he heads out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't wait to write the next one although its my exam!  
> wrote some part of this and lost it. Rewriting again.

 

 

Sam had no idea where he was headed. May be he'll take a walk. Clear his head. Get away from the motel. And Dean. God, dean.

Sam stops that track of thought. He knows he's in big shit. Dean's not stupid, or blind. Sam has been acting weird and he knows it. Dean must have clearly noticed how he has stopped bitching about the music or crappy motels or hunting life in general. He was this close to kissing dean and it wasn't even the first time! 

Sam remembers that one night. Dean was too drunk(again, Sam didn't bitch about that either). When Sam insisted on driving, dean threatened to kiss him if he didn't give him the keys back.

'may be i should've let him' he thinks. 'this bug might have left the building'. Sam thinks and then abruptly stops walking.

And just like that he decides(finally!) where he's headed. He can see a bar from where he is standing. "Perfect" he tells himself. He walks into the bar with nothing on his mind other than "gotta fuck". Yes, dean would be proud of him. He can't say the same about himself though. He feels dirt cheap when he walks up to the bartender. "Can i....have a beer?" he says instead of "can i hump you till i can _cure_ my love for my brother ".

"sure" she says and smiles at him with pity. Maybe he looks as lost as he feels right now.

He drinks two beers before standing up and leaning over the counter to say to the bartender "can we fuck?"

She gives a short laugh and says with a smirk which reminds him of dean "honey, I'm gay" and goes back to wiping the counter.

Sam frowns. "Well that's not fair". The girl looks at him and raises her eyebrows.

"I'm gay too, i think" he frowns more and looks down, as if in deep thinking.

She smiles fondly and says "May be you should find out, for sure" she shrugs just when Sam looks up at her.

"May be i should"

He starts looking around. 'a guy, that's what i need' he thinks.

Now there are guys in the bar alright but none clean enough, or decent enough...even old enough in some cases.

"I am doomed to go to hell" he says out loud.

"Why is that?"

Sam spins around to find a rather attractive guy smiling down at his face. He looks older than dean. When Sam just keeps staring at the guy without a word, he sits down next to sam and offers him a beer.

 

3 more beer and some kisses later, the guy decides to take Sam for a spin in his ride when they reach the parking lot. Sam declines immediately. "I am not asking" he says and pushes Sam onto the backseat and starts unzipping his pants.

"What are you doing?" Sam asks too hammered to do anything else. "What's the matter baby, you have been asking for this haven't you?" he drops his pants and lets his fat hard dick out. "I..no, i just wanted to kiss you and.." Sam stopped talking when the guy with his cock in hand shoved it into Sam's mouth. Grabbing his long hair, his pushed in until his balls touched his chin. "ahh. Take it, come on. You wanted to make out like a high school girl now did you? Teasing me all night with your...yess" .

Sam starts sucking his dick like a hungry infant. In his drunken haze he imagines himself at the backseat of the impala, dean fucking his mouth like there's no tomorrow. He closes his eyes and lets out a moan. "god, you are such a cock sucker" the guy keeps babbling, until he comes in Sam's mouth and his face. Sam chokes on in own vomit when the guy is done. He crawles out of the car and the guy drives away. He lays there curled into a ball waiting for the disgust to fade away.

 

Dean finds him an hour later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is. Can't make you all wait. Its really cruel when the authors make us wait isn't it?  
> I'm going wherever the characters are leading. They got moods and tempers you know.

 

Sam vaguely remembers the rumble of the impala, the frantic questioning of his brother if he's hurt and being half carried into his shotgun seat by gentle but strong arms.

He doesn't open his eyes enough to see what's going on, afraid of dean's anger finally throwing him off that edge he's been hanging on for so long now.

The car starts to move. He risks looking over at dean. Dean's eyes are fixed on the road, knuckles going white on the wheel. Yes, anger. He knows him too well. Who would want a wuss for a brother anyway?

"You okay?" dean asks with so much love in his voice, Sam wants to crawl into his arms and let go of himself.

But he doesn't.

"Yeah" he replies shortly, voice still hoarse from the encounter, and looks out the window.

His face tickles from the cold wind. He scratches his hand once over to find some water fall on his finger. Tears. 'damn it'. He did not even realize he's been crying.

He quickly wipes his face and rests his head against the half-closed window. Eyes closed. 'may be i'l fall asleep before reaching the motel'.

 

They reach fairly quickly.

Sam almost runs for the motel door. He's already inside when dean is closing the trunk carrying some food.

Sam goes straight for the bathroom, locks the door and leans against it, listening to his brother's light footsteps.

A knock on the door. "Sam, hurry up. The food will run cold" .

He looks himself in the bathroom mirror. He remembers his face must have been covered with dry come but it was all dirt and tear trails.

He sighs with relief, feeling nothing close to it.

When he steps out the door, head hanged low (with shame? Fear? He doesn't know), dean had food spread on his bed, one feet on the ground waiting for Sam to look at him.

Sam does.

"Now that you are finally fucking looking at me again." his voice rough but he did not look angry. "..Tell me what happened" his voice stern.

Sam sits down and starts picking at his burger. He can feel dean's patience ticking away with time.

"I....." he starts but doesn't know what to say. He tries again. "I went to the bar" he looks up through his bangs to see dean give a nod impatiently.

"And..got into a fight..over some girl" he thinks dean will get distracted over that last detail. He doesn't know his brother _that_ well.

"Sam. If you think I'm gonna buy that, you don't know me at all" dean tells him matter of factly.

"All you need to know is, dean, i got into a fight. That's all. It happens to you all the time"  
"But i fight back damn it" dean is suddenly angry. He drops his other feet to stand before Sam. "You looked so, so...broken man. It scared the shit out of me" dean was trembling.  
"I'm sorry" and Sam means it more than dean would know.  
"I don't need your sorry Sammy. You can tell me anything. I thought you would know that after everything we have been through" he looks at the ground hard, hand on his hips.  
"Not everything" Sam whispers.  
"What?" dean looks at him again. Sam miserably tries to hide his face behind his mop of hair and drops his head even more.

"Sammy i swear to god, you either tell me what the hell is going on or I'm...i'm leaving your sorry ass in this motel" dean goes for threat but it comes out more as a plead.  
Sam's head snaps up to look at dean fiercely.  
"You know what dean, do whatever you please. You wanna leave me here, go ahead. I'm not stopping you! You don't have to come up with piss poor excuses like this one" his hands keep flying around like when he was a kid. When he could do nothing more than scream at his father.  
Dean takes a step closer. "I did not mean it that way." he says calmly. In return, Sam collects himself and sits down to eat his burger.  
Dean goes to his own bed and flops over to face the other side, his back to Sam.  
Sam looks over at dean's untouched burger and _pie_.

He feels his heart clench. And finishes eating to switch off the light and lies down on his back.  
'Someday this pain will get easier to carry around ' he promises himself in the dark.

The next morning, Sam wakes up with a startle. Dean is disassembling his gun. Sam can see how absorbed he is, untill he looks over to Sam's bed.  
He doesn't say anything when he catches Sam staring at him. Just goes back to paying attention to his beloved gun.  
Sam sighs. Dean with his gun is the absolute sight for him. He looks at peace for a change. His eyes trail down to his hand. Hands which have bandaged and stitched him, has now turned into an object of desire.  
He imagines dean's hands touching his morning wood lightly, teasing, before wrapping it around him, pumping him hard and fast cause dean always takes care of him. He leaks a drop of precum at the thought. He presses the palm of his hand against his hard throbbing cock closing his eyes, head thrown back. The pleasure jolts out of him in a whimper and he comes in his pants.  
When he comes back to his senses, he feels dean's eyes on him. Throwing himself out of the bed in one swift movement, he crosses the room in three long strides to the bathroom.

Once inside he thinks 'no way i'm stepping out of the bathroom today'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy time!!

Samuel Winchester knows he can not lock himself in a bathroom forever, or even for the rest of the morning. Not only cause he's not twelve anymore but also cause his big brother is a hunter.

You can not hide from Dean Winchester.  
That thought causes Sam's heart to jump with panic.  
'Dean just saw me come in my pants!!! Dean!!' his mind was screaming at him.  
He stands in the bathroom, resting his head against the door for god knows how long.  
He needs to come up with something, anything, and quickly before-

The motel door slams loudly. Sam listens hard. The impala comes to life.  
'Dean just left' his mind registers after the noise fades away.  
He allows himself to loosen up a little and leans against the door.  
"How bad can it be?" he asks himself aloud.  
"Dean only saw me close my eyes and breathe hard" (and palm my hard on).  
He ignores the unsaid part. His cock was getting harder to ignore though.  
He brings his hand over his pants. "Dean...." escapes from his lips.  
'dean is not here' he remembers.  
Quickly shoving his pants down, Sam steps into the shower over the tub. Warm water traces down his back, down his naked thighs. It feels good, he thinks.  
He lets his mind wander while he starts to slowly stroke his erection.  
Dean. That's all he can think about.  
"Shit" he curses as he remembers the first time he had a hard on because of dean.

It was some hunts back. They were hunting a werewolf. Of all places, they ended up in one of the deepest forest ever.  
They were apparently lost.  
Sam, being the nerd, suggested they head wherever it was the least of vegetation. That'll be close to the road. Dean had reluctantly agreed, running out of ideas.  
But out of nowhere the werewolf pounced, nearly taking Sam's throat with him. Dean had pulled him from behind by his chest with firm, strong hands. Their bodies were flush against each other. Dean's warm breath was falling right into Sam's ears. He leaned against dean's body feeling his hard body. Sam had an instant hard on and swiftly bucked his ass against dean's crotch. He froze when he realized what he had done.  
Just then Dean took his shot and the beast was dead on their feet.

Sam remembers now the warmth of dean's body as his jerks off slowly, building up the intensity.  
Dean makes it so much harder. His naked chest, hard and muscular when he steps out of the shower, water still dripping down his torso in slow, seductive motion.  
He imagines licking his way down his brother's chest to his hip bones.  
He moans at the thought.  
He rips the towel loose in his mind and takes his brother's dripping cock into his mouth. So big and hard, just like his own right now. He jerks faster.  
The way Dean would grab his hair and fuck his mouth, filling him all the way to his throat. Sam swallows, as if drinking dean's precome. He can hear dean's rapid breathing as his own breathing comes shallow.  
"yeah..." he breathes as his thumb goes over the head. He jerks faster.  
He can feel his balls tighten. He's so close.

He remembers his first hunt when he was 16. Dean was patching him up when his fingers brushed over his nipple and he intensely came in his shorts nearly passing out.

Sam's orgasm is ripped out of him at that memory.  
"Fuck dean. God damn it! Shit." he pants as he climbs down from his high.

He slams his head against the wall with a loud 'thud' as he begins to wash away the guilt.  
He's in love with his brother. 'shit'.

"Sammy?" Surprised sam crashes down on the tub with a loud noise. Predictably, dean takes no time barging in to find Sam, naked, lying on the tub, legs in awkward angles and a bleeding wound on his forehead. "Shit" dean curses under his breath. \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "I'm okay" Sam winces at the burn from the antiseptic dean is currently dabbing on his forehead. "I can see that" dean mumbles. Sam is still wrapped in a towel and dean looks way more concerned than Sam thinks necessary. Dean finishes with a bandaid and looks at Sam. "You startled me that's all" Dean doesn't reply. After a long time of awkward staring, dean asks, "Will you tell me what's going on?" holding Sam's gaze. "Dean, its complicated" "Yeah I bet." dean arches his eyebrows and looks down. He adds "Jerking off to your brother sounds complicated". Sam stares gaping at him. He wishes for that werewolf to rip his throat out, wishes that the ground would swallow him. He wishes that he was never born. "How long?" dean asks calmly without looking away from the floor.

"Its been a while" Sam answers softly. He is still wishing for the floor to crack open under him.

"You don't have to look so dreadful Sammy" dean says trying to diffuse the awkwardness. And failing. "I am still your brother"  
"Exactly dean. You are my brother! You'll always be" Sam gets irritated.  
"What do you want?"  
"What i want, dean? I want to kiss you, feel your body against mine". Dean looks up.  
"Hear you moan my name, hear you tell me you want me too" Sam is breathing hard. "But none of that's gonna happen. So lets get this over with."

"What do you want me to say Sam?" dean looks..sad.  
"Nothing."  
Sam stands up and walks to his duffel bag. With some clothes he walks to the bathroom.  
Dean sighs.

When Sam comes back, he is fully dressed.  
He carries his duffel and starts putting his guns and clothes into it.  
Dean watches silent. Sam is facing away from dean but he can see his frame all tense and ready.  
Ready to leave, he thinks.

"Sam..."   
Sam zips up and turns around to look at his brother's terrified face. "This will make things easier" sam explains. Dean stands up.

"Not for me, no. But if this is what you want. I don't have no right to stop you" He turns away.

"Dean.." Sam chokes. 

"God damn it" dean turns around and pushes sam to the wall between the bed. And kisses him.  
Its hard and demanding, almost punishing. He pulls at Sam's shirt and slams him again to the wall, never parting their lips.  
Sam groans. The noise does things to him he doesn't want to think yet. He starts grinding his hips against Sam's. 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wincest..

Sam pulls away for half a second, before dean is wrapping his fingers in his freakishly long hair and pulling him into the kiss.  
Sam cups dean's face in his huge hands and slows down their lips. He lets his tongue swipe dean's lower lip and into his warm mouth.  
Dean moans. Sam rubs his hard cock against dean's growing erection. And dean groans against his mouth.  
They part and look at each other for precisely 2 heartbeats before Sam is pushing dean on his bed and unbuttoning his own shirt.  
"Guess i shouldn't have got dressed" Sam chuckles and leans over dean.  
Dean strips his own shirt and pants, grabs Sam by the back of his neck and kisses him deeply.  
They roll over so dean's on top now.  
"God Sammy, never knew i needed this, wanted this. Wanted you like this" dean is breathless.  
"Fuck me dean" Sam pants against his mouth.  
They are humping in their boxers and it feels like heaven. So close to touching, Sam thinks he'll pass out.  
"Gonna fuck you hard Sammy" dean holds Sam's hips on either side and dry humps frantically.  
"Its Sam!"  
Sam bites him on his collar bone.  
"fuck" dean breaths in pain and pleasure.  
Dean fucking finally gets their boxers out of the way.  
Sam's erection slaps shamelessly against his stomach. He blushes slightly.  
Dean kisses his forehead. 'so beautiful ' he thinks.  
Sam takes both their cocks in his hand and dean starts humping again. The friction feels amazing.  
"jesus dean, I'm gonna come, fuck me already".  
dean pushes his finger into Sam's mouth.  
"suck me baby, come on"  
Sam protests on the 'baby' but starts sucking anyway and does this make dean hard, by god. He adds another two.  
He rolls Sam's balls in his other hand, tugging to stall the orgasm. They can not last long, dean knows. 

Sam sucks on those fingers like his life depends on it. He can not believe he is naked with his brother sucking his bloody knuckles.  
Dean soon takes away his hand from Sam's mouth(god, that mouth) and trails it under his balls.  
He finds it and slowly circles around the rough opening.  
"let me in Sammy" dean speaks softly.  
Sam does.  
Dean enters one middle finger slick with Sam's spit.  
" Fuck, so tight there sammy, feels so good" sam feels full but god he cant wait for dean's dick in him.  
The thought arouses him so much he begs for another.  
Soon dean has three digits in and pounding Sam's prostrate with each thrust.  
"ahh, god damn it, more dean, more, come on" Sam's screams out in heat. He pushes his ass back to get more of the pressure.  
Dean shoves all his three into Sam again and again. Sam doesn't seem to get enough. Without warning, Dean takes out his fingers. Sam moans.  
Dean leans in to kiss him.  
Spitting on his hands, dean slicks up.  
"come on...hurry dean. Fuck" Sam is shaking with need. His so damn close.  
"god, desperate much? Hang on, gonna make this good for you baby."

Sam gets on his fours while dean slicks up his dick.  
"I'm fucking ready since yesterday dean, fuck me" Sam raises his ass for emphasis.  
"holy fuck Sam, you look so fucking beautiful like this"  
Dean slowly enters Sam. Sam arches his back with pain. Dean leans forward and kisses Sam's neck, his earlobes, his jaw. Tongue wiping away every drop of sweat in his forehead. He reaches around and strokes his dick, a distraction from the pain.  
Sam feels full after a while. And dean growls. The urge to pound in and out is strong but dean waits.  
Sam rolls his hips and starts fucking dean's cock.  
"Yeah..." Dean exhales. He pounds in to match Sam's rhythm. The bed creeks under them and that's the only sound in the room other than dean's balls slapping Sam's ass with each thrust. It doesn't take long. Sam strokes his dripping cock one, twice and he's coming with such force, his other hand gives up. He falls face first into the mattress. Dean instantly follows as Sam's hole tightens and he's coming so hard..drops right over Sam's limp body. "Guess...you are the brilliant one between us" dean says after catching his breath. Sam turns his head to look at dean on his side with a look of confusion. "You knew you wanted me..I was way too slow" Dean admits with a shy smile. Sam says nothing. Just pulls dean closer by his hip. He kisses him once and closes his eyes with a satisfied sigh. Dean follows suit. "You get an hour before we start again" Sam mumbles when dean's breathing gets even. He falls asleep much faster than he has in many nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it.  
> happy ending.  
> Do leave your love.. Thanks!!


End file.
